The Hidden Cost of Public Shame: Who Really Profits?

Dr. Eleanor Vance · 2026-10-11

Have you ever stopped to think about how much money is made from your embarrassment? It sounds like a strange question, but it's one worth asking. On a recent episode of *Why? Philosophical Discussions About Everyday Life*, host Jack Russell Weinstein sat down with data scientist and author Cathy O'Neil to dig into the ethics of online humiliation, consumer manipulation, and the way our insecurities are turned into profit. The conversation left me thinking about how we, as people of faith, should respond to a world that seems to monetize our most vulnerable moments. ### The Business of Shame Shame has always existed. But the internet has turned it into an industry. Every time a viral post mocks someone for a mistake, or a brand uses our fear of missing out to sell us something, someone is cashing in. O'Neil points out that tech companies and advertisers have built entire systems around exploiting human insecurity. They know what makes us click, what makes us compare, and what makes us feel small. And they use that knowledge to keep us scrolling, buying, and sometimes even humiliating others for entertainment. Think about it: when was the last time you saw a social media pile-on and didn't feel a little twinge of relief that it wasn't you? That relief is exactly what keeps the machine running. We participate, often without realizing it, in a cycle that profits from our collective anxiety. ### Why We Can't Look Away Part of the problem is that shame is addictive. It's a strong emotion, and strong emotions get engagement. Platforms are designed to reward outrage and embarrassment because those feelings keep us on the app longer. O'Neil calls this "the attention economy," and it's not just about ads—it's about data. Every like, share, and comment tells companies more about how to manipulate us next time. But here's the thing: as Christians, we're called to something different. We're called to build each other up, not tear each other down. We're called to see the image of God in every person, even the ones who mess up publicly. That doesn't mean we ignore wrongdoing, but it does mean we shouldn't delight in someone else's humiliation. > "The world is profiting from our shame, but we don't have to buy into it." ### A Better Way to Live So what can we do? First, we can be mindful of what we consume. If a post is designed to make us feel superior or to mock someone, maybe we shouldn't engage. Second, we can support companies and creators who build people up instead of tearing them down. And third, we can practice grace—both online and off. When we see someone being shamed, we can choose to speak up with kindness instead of joining the crowd. This isn't about being perfect. It's about being intentional. The world will always try to profit from our insecurities, but we don't have to let it. We can choose to live with integrity, compassion, and a healthy dose of self-awareness. ### The Takeaway O'Neil's conversation with Weinstein is a wake-up call. It reminds us that the systems we use every day are not neutral—they're designed to exploit us. But we have a choice. We can either be passive consumers of shame, or we can be active agents of love. As someone who works with couples and individuals in Christian dating and marriage, I've seen firsthand how shame can destroy relationships. But I've also seen how grace can heal them. Let's be people who choose grace, even when the world profits from shame.